Thursday, 3 July 2014

The Little Things.

It has been a while since i have updated you on how i have been doing since moving back to Leicestershire. It has almost been a month since i have been back, however it feels like a whole lot longer! For the past few weeks i have been struggling a bit with the transition. If i am honest with myself, i have been in denial that i live actually live in Leicestershire now and not Brighton. During my last couple of weeks in Brighton, i do not think i had really thought about the changes that would happen once we moved back. Obviously i had an idea, yet i never really thought about how i would feel about them. 

For one thing i forgot how depressing the task of finding a new job is. I am aware of how bad unemployment in England is at the moment, particularly for our generation, but to be honest i thought i would have found a job by now. I seem to have gone into this weird unemployment lull, where i do not really know what to do with myself and prefer to shy away from anyone that might ask the dreaded question "Have you found a job yet?". 
In my opinion, having a job is having independence. And since having to give up my job in Brighton and become unemployed again in another city, i feel like my independence is being questioned. Of course, this could be debated as me being inpatient and overly sensitive on the topic. 

The second thing that i have struggled with since moving is seeing my boyfriend less and not having our own place yet. He works pretty hardcore hours so we have gone from having most of our days together to just having the evenings and part of the weekend with each other. Do not get me wrong, i am incredibly proud of how hard he has been working for the past few weeks. What makes me even prouder is that he is doing it to get himself out of the post uni debt and so that we can live our lives together again. He is the hardworking sensible one and i am the rebel to society, irresponsible one. So we balance each other out in a way. But i intend on changing that. Every time he leaves for work at 6:30am i get a twang of guilt run through me. Unemployment makes you feel shame in many ways, particularly if your other half is working his ass off and your not. 

I know i will find a job eventually. And i also know it might not be what i really desire to do, but at the moment i am willing to do just about anything. OPTIMISM IS KEY.  Or so they tell me...

Anyway, moving on from the depressing part of the post. I want to tell you about my day yesterday! After how i have been feeling recently, it was the perfect pick me up that i needed. I am still getting used to Market Harborough/Leicester again and to be honest, i have been mainly focusing on the negatives. Yes i have become one of those annoying people that go around saying "Well it's not as good as Brighton". Sometimes i am not even aware that i am saying it.
However, i am starting to cherish the little places i have found and now love! As you all know, i adore the Cook Shop cafe in Market Harborough, which does fucking good coffee! (Excuse my language, but sometimes there is no other way to describe something). Yesterday whilst in town with a friend after going to my new fav cafe, we stumbled upon a small Italian Deli. My favourite food is Italian. It just get my taste buds going and hands down i will choose italian food over everything else every single time. Pasta is the food of Olympus! Just saying... 
As you can imagine when i saw the Italian Deli, i just had to go in. I was drawn to it like a bee to a flower! I think my heart must have stopped when i laid eyes on all the different pasta, cured meets, cheeses, pastries, etc, that they had on display. Like i said in my recent post about how to survive in a new city, it really is the little things that keep you going, and this Italian Deli was my little thing! I immediately pictured myself and my boyfriend browsing the food and buying different things to eat at home. I felt excitement, which is not really an emotion i have felt much since being back in Leicestershire. It really is all about exploring your new environment and finding places that you love and makes your move feel worth while. 

What have i learned this week? 
Be more optimistic. Do not always blame yourself. And find the little things. 


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